Stalking
Definitions
- Misdemeanor Stalking- Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows or harasses another person.
- Felony/Aggravated Stalking-Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows or harasses another person, and makes a credible threat with the intent to place that person in reasonable fear of death or bodily injury.
- Harassment- to engage in a course of conduct directed at a specific individual that causes substantial emotional distress to that person and serves no legitimate purpose.
Elements of Stalking
Misdemeanor
- Information gathering from friends, university, ie: finding out work, class schedules
- REPEATED non-threatening e-mail, mail, beeper codes, phone calls
- Persistent physical approaches and/or requests for meetings/dates
- Notes, items left on car
- Observing, following and "coincidentally" showing up wherever victim is
- Waiting outside home or place of employment
- False reports to authorities, spreading rumors, giving misinformation or secrets to friends/family
Felony
- Vandalism or destruction of property
- Threatening mail, e-mail, notes, phone calls, threats may be direct or implied
- Leaving evidence that car has been broken into
- Breaking into home when victim is not there
- Breaking into home when victim is there
- Stealing/killing pets
- Physically attacking victim
- Rape or attempted rape
- Murder or attempted murder
Who is the Stalker
- Stalkers can be men or women.
- Stalkers can be strangers or someone you know, an ex or current partner, friend, or coworker.
- Stalkers can be functional or non-functional, ie: invested in society or not, holding down a job or not, enrolled in school or not.
- Stalkers can be delusional or non-delusional.
- Stalkers can have a love interest, "I want to be with you", "We are meant to be together", or an anger interest, "I have been wronged by you and want revenge".
- Other common traits are high intellect, social isolation, history of failed personal relationships, experiences of abuse as a child, and poor social skills.
Red Flag Behavior: Things to Watch Out For
- Makes false promises, "If you meet me one more time I'll never bother you again."
- Uses guilt, "You're the only one that understands me" "I don't think I can go on without you".
- Forced teaming, "How could you destroy what WE have together" "WE need each other".
- Loansharking, Does unsolicited favors for the victim, then uses that as leverage, "You owe me" "After all I've done for you, how dare you treat me this way"
Common Responses
At the onset of the stalking behavior, many victims will excuse, minimize or even deny the behavior which feeds the manipulative tactics of the stalker. Victims believe the stalking behavior will cease in time.
Since many stalking behaviors can never be directly traced to the stalker, victims often fear they have become PARANOID or CRAZY. They question their own judgment rather than accurately perceive the reality and danger of the situation.
Victims can experience on an ongoing basis:
- a state of hyperstress(flight, fight or freeze)
- disorganization, trouble concentrating
- short term memory problems
- exhaustion
- short attention span
- reduced immune functioning
- anger/rage
- poor self esteem/image
Am I Being Stalked
- If you have ever asked yourself or anyone else that question, the answer is YES.
- If you find yourself adjusting your schedule to avoid seeing that person or don't go places you used to go due to the stalking behavior, the answer is YES.
What Can I Do If I'm Being Stalked
- Give the stalker the HARD NO. STOP ALL CONTACT WITH THE STALKER. Attempt to do this in front of a witness and/or in a safe place. Be prepared for the reaction from the hard no.
- Save all evidence. Save letters, cards, notes, voice mail, print out e-mail.
- Keep a journal of all events. Write detailed descriptions including dates, times, locations, witnesses.
- Tell everyone around you about the stalking, employers, coworkers, students, neighbors, roommates, family so they can be aware and assist with any needs.
- Make police reports after every incident, keep case # of original report and add to it.
- Consider a restraining order or the University Judicial process.
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